Day Zero - 0.00 lost - Pre-Party

Several recent and future events have inspired me to try a juice cleanse.  A friend of mine, S, completed a 30-day cleanse after getting inspiration from the documentary "Fat, Sick, and nearly Dead."  Hearing her talk of her experience, it seems like the cleanse was a very personal, very awful journey, yet the result was that it has completely overhauled the way she looks, eats, feels, etc..  Tres transformatif!  After listening to her story, I identified that a lot of the things that she has now or gained from this experience are things that I want or find lacking in my own life: self-discipline, healthy eating, weight loss, etc..

Additionally, I got cast in three plays over the next 6 months, and my role in two of them requires that I stand on stage shirtless.  I tell myself I'm not ashamed of how I look, yet that doesn't mean I like it, am proud of it, or feel like flaunting my "goodies" to the arts patrons five shows a week!  (I feel like I just said "I'm not ashamed of how I look" and proceed to define "ashamed"....)  So, for the plays, I have until August to get stage-ready.  I don't need "sexy," I just need "average," and to accomplish that, it's time for a change.

Lastly, I've accepted a new role at work.  it's a lateral move, but a big increase in responsibility*.  I'm really excited for the change, and I want to be the fit, funny, professional working man that comes to the office every day looking sharp and ready for the day's challenges.  Think Jim from "The Office".  At present, I look more like Kevin.  So, again, it's time for a change.

Finally, I want to meet more people, and that's easier to do when you look like a class act.  I'm a pretty likeaXle** guy, yet it's easier to meet people if you're likeaXle AnD you're not overweight.  So instead of whining that it's an unfair world, I can make some changes and meet the world on its terms.

As if these events weren't enough motivation, I'm going to see college friends at the end of May, and Pride is the first weekend of June - that gives me JUST enough time to complete a 30-day juicetastic journey.

I've got the motivation, a 35-day window, and, after today's grocery trip, a shit-ton of veggies.  Like, SO many veggies.  It truly scares me how much produce is in my house.  

S journaled through her cleanse, and I think that will help me keep my focus and my sanity.  I love food, so this will xe a difficult thing for me to do.  Again, I'm very, very intimidated.  Xack to the journal, S was reading me select passages from hers last night.  On her first day she had a dream involving a panther, a journey, and popcorn.  I didn't have any dreams, xut I had an epiphany today.  This whole time that I've xeen considering a cleanse, I've xeen thinking axout V8.  I like V8.  I could do V8 for an extended period of time.  At 3:00am, I realized this is not going to xe like V8.  At all.  V8 has salt, spices, etc..  To really cleanse, the only thing I can add to my juice is veggies & fruit.  no additives.  Take a xeet, smash it up in the juicer, and drink it.  

Today I purchased an oxscene amount of produce.  There is no way that poor people in America could afford to eat healthy.  I spent so much money today on groceries.  I can't even xegin to imagine what it would xe like if I was single with a kid and trying to make healthy choices for my family.  Truly sad.

I'm watching the aforementioned documentary today.  And I'm xinging on snacks, xooze, cigarettes, etc..  Tomorrow, that's all gone.  Tomorrow, it's game time.  Tomorrow I xecome Diet Dieter.  Fuck. Me.

*  I'm missing two keys on my keyxoard.  The n and the b.  I usually keep the former copied so I can just paste it in as necessary, yet at this point I gave up and found the other letter.  This is also why I'll say "yet" instead of "xut" when I post - the missing letter

**  From now on, I'll keep the n on copy/paste, and use "x" for the other letter I can't type.  Wow.  That sounds very dramatic.  "The letter I can't type."  How very "He-Who-Shall-not-Xe-named"!!??!!??

"Eat, drink, and xe merry, for tomorrow we die."  Let the preparty commence!!!